Men, please read before proceeding. If you want to control someone sleep with the remote. A woman's sexual preference is NO. It's not the size that counts, it's. . .no, wait, size does count.
Men caught staring at other women usually have no defense, although they tend to offer one anyway: "I thought that was a guy I know," or, "Can you believe she wore that in public!" When asked, men will admit that a woman is "cute ... if you like that sort of thing." "But not as cute as you, honey bunny," they will sycophantically declare. Women are rarely caught checking out well-built men. Proof that they actually do can be heard, between giggling fits, during all-woman talk fests: "His rear end was better built than ...." More girl watching real or Fake, who cares if they're real or Fake, they're definitely fake.
Men and women are different. One can usually tell the difference by looking. Of course these differences are what makes life interesting. Women do women stuff. Men do men stuff. If we all did the same stuff it would be like staring into a mirror all the time. Which is not a bad deal if you're Brad Pitt or Salma Hayek, but for the rest of us it might get a bit tedious. Some of you might wonder why I would want to include stuff on these pages that contain language, etc. that could be construed as offensive by some and obscene by others?
I once had a friend write back to me from the hospital "You know, I think I've finally figured it out. You and I are normal and everyone else is an asshole." It had special meaning for two guys that had never been referred to as normal by anyone. Yet he gave a lot more back to his family, his community and to me than he ever took. Vietnam didn't get him. Throat cancer didn't get him. A heart attack did. And no, these pages aren't black, but I'll miss him.
Having sons the same age, he kept a bottle for the time when one of us would get a call from an irate father that had found one of our boys with his pants down around his ankles taking advantage of Daddy's little girl. He saw that the way things are now, it would be the time to celebrate that at least the boys weren't gay! There are things about Denis Leary and some others humor that remind me of this type of wisdom. If you have never had a friend like Vic Gauthier, you won't understand. Still, if you'll take a little advice before you go on with the rest of your life, do us all a favor and find one. In the meantime, if you are easily offended by things Sex-related or with Explicit Language and all that other Good Stuff,
"Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge, Say no more, Say no more."
I think Monty Python's Eric Idle.
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